Reflection on Pentecost

Well, it’s been nearly a year since I left Vancouver and headed back to NZ. I haven’t done anything with this blog. I thought I might turn it into a semi-regular blog about theology, faith and life in Aotearoa and in my own neck of the woods – Taita.

I read this poem yesterday by Walter Brueggemann on Pentecost which Christians all around the world are celebrating today. The last line of the poem is particularly haunting – “We pray toward the wind and wait, unconvinced but wistful.” It seemed to touch my soul, the desire for miraculous transformation but the sceptic within me doubting that it is possible in the ways that the Bible and the story of the early Church speaks of. And yet the hoping remains.

We hear the story of the wind at Pentecost,
Holy wind that dismantles what was,
Holy wind that evokes what is to be,
Holy wind that overrides barriers and causes communication,
Holy wind that signals your rule even among us.

We are dazzled, but then – reverting to type –
We wonder how to harness the wind,
how to manage the wind by our technology,
how to turn the wind to our usefulness,
how to make ourselves managers of the wind

Partly we do not believe such as odd tale
because we are not religious freaks;
Partly we resist such a story,
because it surges beyond our categories;
Partly we had imagined you to be more ordered
and reliable than that.

So we listen, depart, and return to our ordered existence:
we depart with only a little curiosity
But not yielding;
we return to how it was before,
unconvinced but wistful, slightly praying for wind,
craving for newness,
wishing to have it all available to us.
We pray toward the wind and wait, unconvinced but wistful.

Entering a final season

Spring has now sprung in Vancouver – the blossoms are finally out, after a long winter that was full of snow and rain. Well..there is still the rain in spring but the temperature is a bit warmer and there are more days of sunshine!

As I head into this last season of my time in Vancouver, I’ve been reflecting on how much the seasons of the year have shaped my sabbatical. But also how much they shape so much of our lives. Over lay that with the Church calendar and then the disorientation of being in winter for advent and spring heading into summer for lent and it’s a strange mix of seasons that are a bit jumbled in my head!

I came to Vancouver in summer, after a season that personally was one of winter but the spring had started to come and there was the hopefulness of a new seasons, new joys, new possibilities. It has certainly been all of that – one where I have discovered more of my love of the biblical story and Jesus, made new life long friends, new experiences, epic holidays and the joy of having a flexible schedule as a student again. There have been blessings and gifts that I have received as a foreigner, entering a new land and new community that have often surprised me and been gratefully received. There have also been times of home sickness and loneliness where I have felt far away from home.

As I enter the next two months (and two days to be exact!), I am hoping to finish my time well, to laugh and cry as I say goodbye to people that have become my people here. It’s a funny thing of grieving friends as I leave but delighting in friends and family as I return. As is so often the case and something I feel God often is teaching me – it is the paradox of our lives and of the cross, joy and pain, they go hand in hand.

It is resurrection Sunday here today and I went to a 6.30am morning service with a bunch of people from my church. It was another new experience for me as I have never been to a sunrise service. We had a beautiful vista of the mountains and the sunrise – he is risen, he is risen indeed.

Beginning of Lent reflection

As Christians throughout the world gathered to meet for Shrove Tuesday pancakes and Ash Wednesday services, so did I and some friends here in Vancouver. Unfortunately I forgot to take any photos of the 70 some pancakes me and my roommate made on Tuesday night for a pancake dinner with about 25-30 people, but it was a lot of fun.

It makes me reflect on how much I love the liturgical calendar, this way of helping me to orientate myself to God throughout the year. I also embrace the season of Lent and the fact that our Christian faith incorporates in it room for doubt, mystery and questioning. It speaks to me of our humanness, and the authenticity of the Christian journey. Most Lents, I try and have some reading, liturgy etc.. that is my companion for the road and this year I picked up ‘All Shall Be Well’, readings for Lent and Easter edited my Michael Leach, with a whole bunch of different reflections from a range of Christians. This morning, I was reading a reflection by Paul Brandeis Raushenbush and he articulated some of this,

“In this season it is permitted to reflect on the pain in our lives and to even acknowledge that there are times when God seems utterly absent. Christians spend their lives between the words of Jesus that ask God, why have you forsaken me, and the others that proclaim into your hands I commend my spirit. The testimony of Psalm 139 is that no matter where we go, or what we do, whether we sense God, or we don’t – God is. God is Present. Lent offers us the opportunity to tear away all that would blind us, or numb us to that reality.”

Alongside this, the liturgy book I use for morning prayers had this quote from Julian of Norwich this morning too,

“He said not ‘Thou shalt not be tempested, thou shalt not be travailed, thou shalt not be diseased’; but he said, ‘Thou shalt not be overcome.”

My prayer is that these will be encouraging reflections as you begin the season of Lent this year.

The trinity

A trinitarian God – what does it mean to be following a triune God?

This has been something that has been sitting with me these last few months. As I have learnt more about the various debates throughout Church history, the first five ecumenical councils that were so often centred around this question, it has really struck me the significance, wonder and craziness of a three in one God. Singing the Apostles Creed in Church the other day –

“We believe in the God the Father, we believe in his only only son, we believe in the holy spirit, our God is three in one”

It has made me think how much I haven’t understood this three-in-one God very much. It has also made me reflect on my own church experiences and how much collective worship is trinitarian in nature or whether various strands of the Church have identified and prioritised one member of the Trinity at the expense of the others.  And yet I do keep coming back to the fact that without Christ becoming incarnate, no word becomes flesh and dwells among us.

In my meaning of the sacraments class, this has particularly came out for me as we have been delving into the depths of meaning of baptism and eucharist. It has been interesting to see how the trinity is represented in these two sacraments of the Church. I’ve come away with no great conclusions, just a more fuller understanding of this faith I hold to and the trinitarian nature of these two core practices within our Church life together.

Follow up reflection – Jesus and Peter

I spent Friday evening and all day yesterday in the first session of my weekend class which is on the ‘Meaning of the Sacraments.’ It is a fascinating topic and largely focused around baptism and the Lord’s supper (although exploring the other five sacraments of the Catholic Church as well).

I come to the class with particular views that I’ve come to over the years on topics such as infant baptism vs. adult baptism, open table vs only for those who have been baptised, only an ordained priest presiding at the table vs. the priesthood of all believers etc… It will be really interesting to see by the end of the semester how this class will shape and inform my perspective on some of these things and therefore my engagement with the Church.

However, one thing I was particularly struck by in the class was actually in relation to my blog last week on the film Silence. In the context of the Lord’s Supper, my professor was talking about the meal with Peter and the disciples following the resurrection in John 21.

Jesus has already appeared to the disciples once (John 20:19-23) and one interpretation is that Peter’s decision to go fishing was an act of defiance, returning to his former occupation and taking six disciples with him. Following Jesus’ appearance in the morning after an unsuccessful night of fishing, Jesus instructs them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and they will find fish. It is then that the beloved disciple (John) proclaims that “It is the Lord” who is on the beach and Peter jumps into the water desperate to see Jesus. On the beach, there is a fire of burning coals with some fish on it and bread. It is Jesus who has prepared a meal for Peter, he is the host. Following this meal, Jesus restores Peter. He gives Peter the opportunity to get it right again, asking three times, “Do you truly love me?” – a reversal of the three denials of Jesus before the crucifixion.

I think that one of the things that struck me about this story, is that Peter had committed one of the worst sins possible and yet was welcomed at the table, was restored by Jesus. He was one of the leading apostles of the Church, appointed by Jesus to “feed my sheep.”  It was in the breaking of the bread, that Jesus offered compassion and mercy, and not a meal of judgement. It made me reflect again on Father Rodrigues, and the story of Japanese Christians that apostatised. I think this story gives us an indication of Jesus’ response and welcome to them. I think for those in our faith communities that feel deep senses of guilt and shame, it is Peter’s story that suggests a way of restoration. As is a consistent thread throughout the Gospels, it is at the table that it happens.

Silence

This week I went and saw the new film, Silence, based on Shusako Endo’s book which came out in 1966 (link to trailer below). It’s a Hollywood rendition of the book that is deeply impacting and a hard watch. Spoiler alert at the start though – don’t read this if you don’t want to know the storyline.

I first became aware of the book about six months ago at Regent, where the head of a Bible College in the US gave a summer evening lecture about the book and its theological implications. It’s a pretty sorrowful and haunting story – based on the very real events of Japanese Christianity which I had not been aware of. For others also unaware, the first missionary to Japan was Francis Xavier, one of the first Jesuits, who came from India to spread the gospel in Japan in the mid 1500’s. “By 1582, there were 200 churches serving an estimated 150,000 Christians.”(1) Converts to Christianity had initially been a mix of forced conversions after the local warlord converted, with many voluntary conversions later on.

Following concerns over foreign conquests and questions of loyalty of Christians to the central authority in Japan, all priests were banned from Japan in 1614 and Japanese Christians were ordered to renounce their faith. Anti-Christian measures became even harsher under the third Tokugawa shogun, Iemitsu, who took power in 1623. It’s estimated that in 1612 there were approximately 300,000 Christians in Japan, but by 1625 there were half that or fewer (2). The persecution of Japanese Christians was brutal with the German physician and chronicler Engelbert Kaempfer, stationed at Nagasaki with the Dutch East India Co, calling it “the most cruel persecution and torture of Christians ever witnessed on this globe” (1). Apostasy (by stamping on the face of Jesus) or torture/death were the options given to many Christians. Japanese Christianity was forced underground and there were “hidden Christians” or “Kakure Kirishitan’s” who worshipped together in secret rooms or homes.

It is in this context that the book and film ‘Silence’ tell the story of two Portuguese Jesuit priests, Father Rodrigues and Father Garupe who hear that their previous mentor Father Ferreira has renounced his faith in Japan after being tortured. They set off to Japan to find him, ardent in their disbelief that he could have committed apostasy. The film follows Father Rodrigues journey in particular, as he discovers these hidden Christians in Japan, their earnest desire to follow Jesus and live out their Christian faith, receive the sacraments and joy at having priests in their midsts again. Ultimately however, Rodrigues is captured, tortured and later apostatises to save other Japanese Christians from further torture.

The film seeks to convey the deep complexities and moral ambiguities of faith. It is a complex story that leaves you with a deep seated sense of uncertainty about what you would really do in Rodrigues situation, torn between love of God and love of others, torture or apostasy, and wondering where is God in the midst of horrific persecution. Did Rodrigues sell out on his faith? Isn’t the gospel call ultimately to the cross? But does God really ask this of us when we are told by persecutors to choose between apostasy and others being tortured and killed because of our choice? What is the right thing to do in the midst of this? God is portrayed as silent in the midst of Rodrigues anguish and emotional and physical torment. It is not until the end of the film, where we hear the audible voice of God, whispering that he has been with Rodrigues throughout the journey.

I had gone with a bunch of friends from Regent and there was appropriately silence in the car on the way home as we each processed all that this film and story questions. Ultimately, I am left with many questions and not a lot of answers. But perhaps that is appropriate and where this story leads you..holding lightly to whatever we think we would do in this situation and desperately clinging to trust and faith in God in the midst of it.

(1) http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2014/12/20/national/history/christian-missionaries-find-japan-tough-nut-crack/#.WHxJALYrKt8

(2) https://www.tofugu.com/japan/history-of-christianity/

Entering winter and advent..

So the blast of winter has now come and at this stage, the weather forecast is predicting snow in Vancouver for this week – I am quite excited!

It is an interesting experience, entering the advent season with the cold weather, rain, scarfs, hats, rain, gloves and more rain here. A bit of a different beat to the drum than the sunny skies, BBQs and beach swims in New Zealand (perhaps not Wellington though!). Christmas carols that we grew up with now seem to make a lot more sense…’winter wonderland’ anyone.. This week I even went to choirs performing Christmas carols in a Pitch Perfect like showdown – I loved it! Streets are filled with Christmas lights adorning houses, with santa and his sleigh deer and plastic blow up snowmen featuring in a lot of front yards.

And yet, it’s also a time of waiting in the advent season..it’s a time of year that I look forward to. However, every year, whether I am now studying or working, life is still full in the midst of the call to watching, waiting, hoping, and expecting. Life is still painful, there is still death and sorrow, there is still injustice and violence in places throughout the world. And yet there is Jesus, Christ incarnate, bringing shalom to the world. Here is a Walter Bruggemann poem for this advent season that expresses this paradox.

In violence and travail

We give you thanks for the babe born in violence.

We give you thanks for the miracle of Bethlehem,
born into the Jerusalem heritage.

We do not understand why the innocents must be slaughtered;
we know that your kingdom comes in violence and travail.
Our time would be a good time for your kingdom to come,
because we have had enough of violence and travail.

So we wait with eager longing,
and with enormous fear,
because your promises
do not coincide with our favourite injustices.

We pray for the coming of your kingdom on earth
as it is around your heavenly throne.

We are people grown weary of waiting.

We dwell in the midst of cynical people,
and we have settled for what we can control.

We do know that you hold initiative for our lives,
that your love planned our salvation
before we saw the light of day.

And so we wait for your coming,
in your vulnerable baby
in whom all things are made new.

Amen.

 

Discovering the history of hymns..

This week in my History of Christianity class we had a visiting professor who is now retired but had been a musicologist. He gave a whole lecture on the history of hymns and their progression from 300 AD – 1500 AD. We sung a bunch together in class and it was so inspiring and beautiful.

It was a bit like an ‘aha’ moment for me – all of these songs that I know or sing in Church (particularly in the last few years in going to an Anglican Church) and discovering the history of them in the Church. For example, Ubi Caritas was actually composed and intended to be an interlude song, much like the interlude songs we find in Church today aimed at transitioning the congregation through the different elements of a service.

It wasn’t until Pope Gregory (often called the “Father of Christian worship”) in the 6th Century that music became more unified with a liturgical conformity through the development of the ‘Mass’ (the worship time when Eucharist is celebrated) and the divine offices (other worship time). It was also fascinating to realize the degree to which hymns were used in order to proclaim key doctrines of the Church like the Trinity, combating key challenges to the Church like Gnosticism and Marcionism.

I also heard about a group of former Regent students who have a love of old hymns and re-create them with a folk like style. Here is their website if you want to have a listen: http://music.ordinarytimemusic.com

An update..

So given it’s been a while since I last posted..you may have assumed that life has been rather full and you would be correct! So here is an update of the last few weeks of my life in Vancouver and what I’ve been discovering and learning.

I returned a few days ago from a trip to Rivendell on Bowen Island, a retreat place that captures the beauty of BC and the majesty of God’s creation – it helped that it was stunning weather most of the time we were there! As part of one of my classes (Christian Thought and Culture), they recommend you take a personal retreat in reading break and I get credit for doing so – a pretty sweet deal. It was a lovely time away with three friends from Regent, Joy my roommate who is here from the UK, Alejandra who is here with her husband from Mexico and Annie who is also from the UK.

We each had a day of silence and ended it with a contemplative prayer service that Rivendell hosts and then a meal together with the four of us in the evening. It was a great opportunity to reflect and be still. What I discovered in my silence was the recognition of God’s deep blessing to me so far in my time here, from the amazing place I’m living in (with 2 other new students from Regent – Joy and Andrew) which is close to Regent (20-25 min cycle ride), affordable (a significant factor in the crazy housing market of Vancouver – it takes housing crisis to a whole new level!) and amazing landlords through to loving studying the bible and the joy of meeting people from all parts of the world with different expressions of Christianity and discovering and learning from each other. This is a season of renewal and joy for me and I very much feel the privilege of having this time to learn more about God’s character and the biblical story. This reflection on gratitude and blessing is appropriately timed given it was Canadian thanksgiving earlier in the week!

Summer has definitely gone though and the autumn leaves are falling – it is amazing to see the colours which are so bright and quite different from a NZ autumn. There are also so many more leaves that just cover every street!  Here are some photos from the last few weeks.

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Re-defining power

I read a book on power recently for one of my classes, called ‘Playing God: Redeeming the Gift of Power’ by Andy Crouch.

I found it really helpful and interesting – in community we talk a lot about power dynamics and particularly the negative impacts of power. However, this book has helped me to re-define and understand God’s intention of power, which is for human flourishing. Crouch says that in our culture, we often have a hard time thinking of power as good or as gift. But actually this was God’s intention for it – in his creation of the heavens and the earth – this was power used for good and as gift. Crouch says,

“Why is power a gift? Because power is for flourishing. When power is used well, people and the whole cosmos come more alive to what they were meant to be. And flourishing is the test of power.”

Crouch challenges the well-known quote from Lord Acton “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely” and the pervasiveness of this way of thinking about power. He argues instead that it is “Love that transfigures power. And absolute love transfigures absolute power. And power that transfigures love is the power that made and saves the world.” 

Power is in fact for image bearing, and image bearing is for flourishing. This understanding of power as creating and being image bearers of God has made me think about power in a new way and in the light of God’s story. A couple of things that particularly struck me from reading the rest of the book were:

• the discussion of the discipline in the Jewish law of leaving the margins of the field for others to glean from who do own fields and vineyards. And that in our own context, making room for others to glean and be image bearers as well can be ensuring we do not use our power as much as we could

• the impact of keeping the sabbath as core to being image bearers in the world and not keeping the sabbath being a form of idolatry. Crouch says,

“Busy, restless, sabbath-less people are idolators. They have displaced the Creator God, who both worked and rested, with a God who is not the true God, the God of relentless productivity who can never stop to enjoy, celebrate or..remember..Without remembering the sabbath, we cease to remember the Creator God who made the world and called it good…Remembering the sabbath, then, is one of the basic disciplines of power. Only sabbath keepers can be trusted with the work of image bearing.” 

The challenge for me is applying some of this re-definition of power to life – always the hardest thing!